Menu
The global quest to finally prove Shaq's existence
As many of you Shaq Truthers may have noticed, this page has been inactive for quite some time. We apologize for failing to provide you all with the finest of Shaq news, and we wholeheartedly understand if most of you have abandoned our movement. For those of you reading this, we thank you for sticking around and remaining loyal to the most convincing conspiracy movement since the anti-vaxxers. We have a lot to share with you... Where Have We Been?In late September of 2017, we received a generous grant from the prestigious Trump University for $15K, which allowed us to embark on an international expedition in order to search for the great Shaquille first hand. We compiled a list of 253 reported Shaq sightings from our peers worldwide and narrowed the list all the way down to 251 credible reports. Our first stop on our journey brought us to the city of Helsinki in Finland, a country that surprisingly, despite the rumors, exists. We got a chance to sit down with Isto Sibelius, 92-year-old Helsinki resident and Finnish infantryman in WWII. Sibelius shared with us the story his miraculous survival that may have some supernatural reasoning behind it. "I was with three other infantrymen patrolling the forests of northern Belgium," Sibelius tells us, "when we were suddenly stopped in our tracks by a group of around two dozen Germans all with their guns pointed at us. We thought this was the end when suddenly the ground beneath us began to shake violently. Everyone looked around in confusion, but next thing we knew, a giant Reebok shoe descended upon the German soldiers and crushed them into a puddle of blood. We look up and see a giant man shush us as he walked away. No one ever believed us." Sibelius may claim that no one ever believed him, but that's where he was wrong. We at ShaqIsOutThere were able to obtain a never-before-seen photograph taken from a French plane patrolling the area in August of 1943. Our incredible journey took us to 138 countries worldwide as we got to experience many vibrant cultures and hear hundreds of tales of Shaq experiences (Shaxperiences). Stay tuned as we share our exciting discoveries to the world and inch our way to an exciting conclusion. We look forward to serving the Shaq Truther community once again. Thank you, The ShaqIsOutThere Staff
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorAmerica's #3 source for Shaq news and theories. Archives
August 2018
Categories |